Feeling overwhelmed as you prepare and plan for your new build or renovation project? It’s not because you’re incapable.

The Four Stages of Competence explains why building or renovating can feel so overwhelming.

Understanding this model will help you understand what’s happening, why it can feel so hard, and how to move forward.

Listen to the episode now.

Hello! This is Episode 390, and I want to give you a framework that will help you understand why you can feel so unsure as you navigate the world of renovating and building. And frankly, it applies any time you tackle something new.

If you’ve got 47 browser tabs open, a Notes app full of screenshots, and a partner who is sick of hearing “I don’t know, I just need to think about it”, this episode is for you.

Because here’s what I see all the time.

Homeowners are not struggling because they are incapable.

They are struggling because they are learning a whole new world, a whole new industry, while the consequences feel expensive, personal, and irreversible.

You are trying to make decisions about layouts, contracts, drawings, selections, builders, budgets, timelines, and regulations. Often while living your very full, demanding, everyday life. Often while feeling like you are meant to already know how this works.

So when you hesitate, when you go quiet, when you avoid the email, when you freeze in front of a quote, you make it mean you’re not doing it right.

But most of the time, it’s not a motivation or confidence issue.

It’s the stage you’re in. It’s what naturally happens when you’re taking on something new and complex, and the stakes feel high.

In this episode, I’m going to walk you through a simple framework called the Four Stages of Competence, so you can see exactly where you are in the learning curve of your project.

And once you can name the stage, you can stop judging yourself for it, and start using the right strategy for what you actually need next.

Most homeowners begin a project thinking, “We just need a plan and a builder.”

And then suddenly you realise you are not just choosing finishes or picking a layout.

You’re making decisions that affect comfort, cost, timing, relationships, and how you live every day.

And that’s when the doubt creeps in.

You start thinking…

“What if I miss something important?”

“What if I choose the wrong team?”

“What if we spend this money and regret it?”

“What if I make a decision too early, or too late, and it costs us?”

If that’s you, I want you to know you are not alone.

And you’re not “bad at this.”

You’re learning. 

You’re acquiring new skills. 

And you’re moving through the 4 Stages of Competence, a model that was developed by Noel Burch in the 1970s, when he was an employee and team member at Gordon Training International. 

I remember learning about the 4 Stages of Competence over a decade ago. 

But it wasn’t until I was talking with a dear friend about our eldest that this model came back to mind.

Our eldest has finished school in the last few months, and has been preparing to move away for university. And suddenly, the communication and dynamic with him has felt harder than it needs to be. 

Firstly, his plans about when and where he wanted to go changed quite quickly, and then he started sharing information with us on a “needs to know” basis. 

And whenever we did manage to talk about logistics with him, it would expose all the gaps. The things he hadn’t considered, the things he didn’t know yet, and the things he was being far more casual about than the situation warranted.

A lot of things kept getting left to the last minute. Which created urgency. And because we’ve wanted to support him, we’ve found ourselves needing to rearrange our schedules to make it work. Often tearing our hair out in the process.

The more questions we’d ask, the pricklier and defensive he’d get. It was driving all of us bonkers. It started to feel like every moment together became a logistics conversation, with him resisting and us pushing.

He’s our eldest, so this has all been as new for hubby and me as it is for our son. But I remember thinking, I do not want this to be the tone of our relationship at such an exciting and important transition.

Anyway, my friend has listened to me as I’ve shared what’s been going on, and then she mentioned this model, and suggested I have a closer look at it.

And so, I researched more about it, writing some notes on a big piece of butcher’s paper I could use to organise my thoughts and also perhaps share with my son. 

And as I did, I realised just how relevant it is for you, as you travel through your renovation and new build project. I shared my scribbles on Undercover Architect’s social media, and the feedback and messages I received blew me away. So, I decided to bring it to the podcast.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE NOW.

RESOURCES:

Hear the stories of other homeowners sharing how they’ve navigated their renovation and new build projects >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/tag/home-method/ 

How to Avoid the Drama in Your Renovation or New Build >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/podcast-how-to-avoid-drama-in-your-renovation-new-build/ 

How to Communicate with Your Project Team >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/podcast-how-to-communicate-project-team/

Create a clear platform for communication with Your Design Brief >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/podcast-how-to-create-your-design-brief/

How to get what you want in your project | Communication Before You Build >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/how-to-communicate-well/

Which tools will help you finish your project well? >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/the-best-building-renovating-tools/ 

Communication Mistakes to Avoid When Building or Renovating >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/communication-mistakes-to-avoid-when-building-or-renovating/ 

Access the support and guidance you need to be confident and empowered when renovating and building your family home inside my signature online program, HOME METHOD >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/courses/the-home-method/

Learn more about how to get started on your home design, whoever you’re working with >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/courses/happy-home-design

Want to create a sustainable home when building or renovating? Grab the 44 Ways to Create a Sustainable free e-guide here >>> https://undercoverarchitect.com/44-ways